1 00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:03,000 (Tannoy) The train now standing at Platform three is the 09:35 from... 2 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:06,300 (Sighing) 3 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:13,500 - Madeline! - Augustus, l have such bad news. 4 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,700 - lt's poor darling Hilda. - Hilda? 5 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,300 - She's broken up with Woger. - Woger? 6 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,500 l must be with her in her hour of need. 7 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,900 But l can't see your godmother by myself. 8 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,500 - Suppose she doesn't approve of me? - She'll love you, Augustus... 9 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,600 - 'Scuse me, sir. - ..Just as l do. 10 00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:36,900 - But l'll be all alone! - Oh, my brave, my wonderful boy. 11 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,000 ln you get, now. 12 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,600 Wait, Mad... 13 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,600 Madeline! 14 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,500 Oh, my goodness! The address! 15 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:30,100 - This club is really amazing, Jeeves. - lndeed, sir. 16 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:34,500 Don't sound so soupy. You won't have to lug that bag of clubs round. 17 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,600 - This is the whole works. - l should not wish to be seen 18 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:40,700 carrying an illegal club around Wentworth, sir. 19 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,900 Nothing in the rules says one can't have an adjustable iron. 20 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:48,300 l press this button, click, it's a niblick, click-click, it's a mashie niblick 21 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:54,900 - click-click-click, it's a mid-mashie... - Yes, thank you, sir. Most ingenious. 22 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,200 All the way up to cleek. 23 00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,600 Rule No. 14-3, sir, 24 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:04,300 states that no player shall use any artificial device or unusual equipment. 25 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:07,100 The rules committee of the Royal and Ancient... 26 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,500 The rules committee of the Royal and Ancient are yesterday's men. 27 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,400 - They must face the modern world. - lf you say so, sir. 28 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,400 (Telephone) 29 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,900 Mr Wooster's residence. 30 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,900 Good afternoon, Mrs Gregson. 31 00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:30,500 No, l regret to say that Mr Wooster is not at home, Mrs Gregson. 32 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,900 Certainly, Mrs Gregson. 33 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,400 Yes, Mrs Gregson. 34 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:42,400 That was Mrs Gregson, sir. She desires us both to visit immediately. 35 00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:46,400 - And l say yes, Bertie. - But dash it, Aunt Agatha... 36 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:51,700 Please! Confine that sort of language to the tap room where it belongs. 37 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,600 l don't know Gertrude Winkworth. 38 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:57,600 Her mother, Dame Daphne, is one of my oldest and dearest friends. 39 00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:59,700 There is good blood there, Bertie. 40 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,100 An injection of it might fortify the jejune concoction 41 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:07,100 which seems to run through the veins of the Woosters these days. 42 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:19,700 by some quite unsuitable sort of actor of all things. 43 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:23,000 l said to her, ''She's just the girl for Bertie.'' 44 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:27,100 That's another thing. lf this Gertrude Winkworth and l should hit it off, 45 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,800 we'd be known by all and sundry as Bertie and Gertie, 46 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:33,900 - like some dashed music hall act. - Don't be such a poltroon, Bertie. 47 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:39,500 - Get him down to Deverill Hall, Jeeves. - Very good, Mrs Gregson. 48 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:52,500 Bertie! Bertie, Bertie, Bertie! l've forgotten the address. 49 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,000 - Hello, Gussie. Whose address? - l can't remember. 50 00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:57,900 Dean something something. 51 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,700 Can't you telephone Madeline to find out? 52 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,500 l don't know where Madeline is. Well, l do. 53 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,500 The Larches, Wimbledon Common, but l don't know the telephone number. 54 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,100 We can look it up. What's the name of her friend? 55 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,600 Hilda...something. 56 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,300 - Pardon me, sir. - Yes, Jeeves? 57 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,800 lf it is to Miss Bassett's godmother that Mr Fink-Nottle must present himself, 58 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:24,100 l think you'll find that it is Dame Daphne Winkworth. 59 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:28,200 - That's it! That's it! - How the dickens did you know that? 60 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,000 l heard Miss Bassett's father, Sir Watkyn, mention 61 00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:36,100 that Miss Madeline's godmothers are Dame Daphne and Mrs Gregson. 62 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:40,400 He referred to them in a moment of grim jocularity as Scylla and Charybdis. 63 00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:45,500 This is the Dame Daphne Winkworth of Deverill Hall we're under orders to see? 64 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,200 - lndeed, sir. - There you are, Gussie. 65 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,300 You can travel with us tomorrow. 66 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,900 Oh, no...Madeline would expect me to be there tonight. 67 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,800 Assert your independence, Gussie. Anyway, how will she know you're not? 68 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,400 We could slide over to the Drones for a snifter. 69 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,500 All right. Why shouldn't l? 70 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,300 l will. 71 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,000 Why should l do exactly what Madeline tells me all the time? 72 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:16,800 - Spoken like a true Fink-Nottle, Gussie. - l don't tell her what to do. 73 00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:19,500 Usual for me, George. How about you, Gussie? 74 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,500 - Orange juice, please. - Gussie, you're a on a long leash. 75 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,300 - You'll drink champagne and like it. - Oh, nearly! 76 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,800 - Catsmeat! - What? 77 00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:31,000 - Bertie. - l haven't seen you in an age. 78 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:34,100 Do you know Gussie Fink-Nottle? Claude Potter-Pirbright. 79 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,000 - What are you up to? - l start a new musical next week. 80 00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:38,900 - Oh. Nice part? - The usual: 81 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:42,900 bound on Act One clutching a tennis racket and shout ''hello, girls,'' 82 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,400 Act Two, fall in love with a parlour maid, 83 00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:49,600 Act Three, find out she's Lady Penelope incognito and live happily ever after. 84 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,600 - l don't think l've seen that one. - What about you? Busy? 85 00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:56,700 Yes. Gussie and l are going to Deverill Hall tomorrow. 86 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,800 - Do you know them, the Winkworths? - You trying to be funny? 87 00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:01,800 l'm engaged to Gertrude. 88 00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:05,000 - Gertrude? As in Winkworth? - Of course. 89 00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,000 - Oh. - What do you mean, ''Oh''? 90 00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:10,100 - She's wonderful, Bertie. - (Man) Can we have the ball? 91 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,900 - Yes, well, that's good, isn't it? - No, it's not good. 92 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,000 When we got engaged and broke the news to her mother, 93 00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:19,700 she let out a yell you could have heard in St Neots. 94 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,900 - St Neots being...? - About 20 miles as the crow flies. 95 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,500 - A goodish distance. - l haven't seen Gertrude since. 96 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:31,700 l'm trying to pluck up the courage to go down and persuade her to elope with me. 97 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,700 - Oh! What's her mother like? - Dame Daphne? 98 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,300 Light-heavyweight, touch of Wallace Beery about the jaw line. 99 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:44,200 - Gussie's engaged to her goddaughter. - l'm going to get her blessing. 100 00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:47,600 - Well, l wish you luck with the aunts. - Aunts? 101 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:51,100 Dame Daphne's got about 43 sisters living with her 102 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,800 and they let out yells too. 103 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,300 - Oh, dear... - Why not take Catsmeat out to dinner? 104 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:02,300 He doesn't eat much and he can enwisen you re these aunts over the pottage. 105 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,200 Owzat! 106 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,000 Ah, Jeeves, a slight complication has arisen about the Winkworth girl 107 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:16,400 - Aunt Agatha wants to pair me with. - lndeed, sir? 108 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:20,600 The actor Dame Daphne wants to head off is Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright. 109 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,700 Catsmeat is barmy about her apparently. The girl, that is. 110 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:26,300 That would put you into an ambiguous situation 111 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,600 in regard to your friendship with Mr Potter-Pirbright, sir. 112 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:32,300 Ambiguous is right. There's nothing for it. 113 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,800 l shall have to throttle back on the charm. 114 00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:38,000 l don't want to leave Catsmeat standing at the post. 115 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:41,700 lt would seem to be a danger, sir. Will that be all, sir? 116 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:45,300 - Yes, Jeeves, that'll be all. Yes. - Thank you, sir. 117 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,800 (Woman) l hunt with the East Sussex of course, 118 00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:55,500 but Roger said he felt a certain obligation to support the Mid-Hants. 119 00:08:55,600 --> 00:09:00,400 The consequence was l never saw the little blighter at all, during the winter. 120 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,500 - My poor Hilda. - Any old how, 121 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,800 l issued an ultimatum, l'm afraid. 122 00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:08,900 ''Look here, Roger, '' l said, ''either it's the Mid-Hants or it's me. 123 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,800 - Take your choice.'' - Oh, Hilda, you're so courageous. 124 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:17,100 Yes, well, l've not seen him since and that was six weeks ago. 125 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,300 Oh, it isn't fair, is it? 126 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:26,300 l'm so lucky to have a man like Augustus - strong, reliable... 127 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,200 What happened to that other blighter you were keen on, 128 00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,800 - that Bertie Wooster? - Oh, poor Bertie. 129 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,900 He's still wildly in love with me of course, 130 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,900 but l had to tell him that there could never be anything between us. 131 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,500 My heart belongs to Augustus, you see. 132 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:46,200 Of course, if Augustus and l were ever to break up... 133 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,200 - Oh... - (Sighing) 134 00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,700 - l told you! - Come on, then. 135 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,400 l'm pretty handy with my fists, you know. 136 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,000 - Come on, Gussie. - No! Let me get at him! 137 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,100 No. We'll go to The Blue Havoc. They'll let us in there. 138 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,300 Let me get at him! 139 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,900 (Catsmeat) lt was five in the morning and we were in Trafalgar Square. 140 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:15,100 Gussie thought there might be newts in the fountain and started wading about. 141 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,900 You can't go wading in Trafalgar Square fountain. 142 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,100 - Gussie did. - Lucky he wasn't pinched. 143 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,200 He was! A cop came along and gaffed him. 144 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:26,900 He was given 14 days without the option at Bosher Street Police Court. 145 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,200 - Do you know what, Jeeves? - No, sir. 146 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:31,300 Gussie Fink-Nottle's in stir. 147 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,700 Gussie Fink-Nottle's in stir! 148 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,000 You see the ghastly position, Jeeves? 149 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:42,500 What will happen when Gussie doesn't turn up? Madeline will enquire. 150 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,200 You know how women are for digging out the truth. 151 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:49,200 Nothing puts a girl off more than hearing a fellow is doing 14 days in chokey. 152 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,300 A very acute observation, sir. 153 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,000 (Wooster) There can be but one result: Gussie will get the bum's rush 154 00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:57,900 and the figure shambling down the aisle with Madeline 155 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,800 while the organ plays The Voice That Breathed O'er Eden 156 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:03,700 - will be Bertram Wilberforce Wooster. - l don't see why. 157 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:07,500 Madeline Bassett believes l'm madly in love with her. 158 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,500 When a girl thinks you love her 159 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,100 and says she's leaving her betrothed and is ready to sign up with you, 160 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,100 what can you do except marry her? One has to be civil. 161 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,400 Ahem. There is one possible solution, sir. 162 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:25,600 You see? ''There is one possible solution, sir,'' just like that. 163 00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:29,100 Catsmeat, Jeeves takes a size 14 hat, eats tons of fish 164 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,000 and moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform. Speak, Jeeves. 165 00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:36,500 Well, sir to obviate the enquiries which would be set on foot 166 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:41,000 should Mr Fink-Nottle not present himself at Deverill Hall this evening, 167 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:46,800 it is essential for a substitute, purporting to be Mr Fink-Nottle to take his place. 168 00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:50,500 You're not suggesting that l check in at this plague pit as Gussie? 169 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,300 Unless you persuade one of your friends to do so, sir. 170 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:58,100 You can't go round asking people to pretend to be Gussie Fink-Nottle. 171 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,100 Well, you can, l suppose, but what a hell of a life. 172 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,900 Besides, there isn't even... Catsmeat! 173 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,200 Not on. They all know me at Deverill. 174 00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:10,200 Well, l can't do it. l can't even do an imitation of Gussie. 175 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,700 You'll pardon me for pointing this out, sir, 176 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,300 but the virtue of the plan is that there is no need 177 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,100 to approximate the look or manner of Mr Fink-Nottle. 178 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,900 Nobody at Deverill Hall has ever seen him. 179 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,200 Yes, but dash it all, Jeeves, they must have heard about him. 180 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,000 Let's face it, if Gussie's brain were silk, 181 00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:30,900 he'd be hard-put to find material to make a canary a pair of camiknickers. 182 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:36,100 Five minutes' conversation with me and they would penetrate the deception. 183 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:41,600 l'm sure that your undoubted thespian powers will see you through the day, sir. 184 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:45,000 (Sighing) Jeeves, what are we letting ourselves in for? 185 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:48,700 l regret that l shall not be able to accompany you, sir. 186 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,800 Not be...? Why on earth not, Jeeves? 187 00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:55,600 l'm sorry, sir. The Ganymede Club would not look kindly 188 00:12:55,700 --> 00:13:00,500 on a gentleman's gentleman sailing, as it were, under false colours. 189 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,100 - Mr Fink-Nottle, sir? - No. 190 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,900 Oh, that's to say yes. Fink-Nottle, yes. 191 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,300 l'd better dress. l don't want to be late for dinner. 192 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:38,700 Dinner has already commenced, sir. We dine at 7:30 punctually. 193 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:42,800 - Ah, so straight in and join the fray. - Such were Dame Daphne's instructions. 194 00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:44,800 Lead on, then. 195 00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:50,700 Mr Fink-Nottle has arrived, Dame Daphne. 196 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,700 Oh, good. 197 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:56,600 Oh. (Laughing) Fink-Nottle. Sorry. Dottle. Fink-Nottle. 198 00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,900 Mr Fink-Nottle, you're very late. 199 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,600 You'll have to forgo the soup and the fish. 200 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,700 Oh, consider them forwent. Shall l sit here? 201 00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:07,600 Well, this is jolly. 202 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,000 Allow me to introduce my sisters. 203 00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:17,100 Miss Emmeline Deverill, Miss Myrtle, Deverill, 204 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:22,000 Miss Harriet Deverill and Miss Charlotte Deverill. 205 00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:25,300 All the little Deverills, eh? (Chuckling) 206 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,200 l'm Gussie Fink-Nottle, noted newt fancier. 207 00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:31,400 - What did he say? - He said he's a newt fancier. 208 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:36,500 - ls that why he's so late? - This is my daughter, Gertrude. 209 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,600 The nephew of a friend of mine is meant to be here. 210 00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:49,100 l wonder if you know him, a Mr Wooster? 211 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:54,700 Bertie Wooster? Oh, yes. l've not actually had the pleasure, but l've heard of him. 212 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:58,400 - That's how l know his name. - Apparently he's irresponsible. 213 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:02,700 Agatha says she wonders if the kindest thing would be to put him in a home. 214 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,500 Well, if that isn't just... 215 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,100 Yes, but um...l wonder, have you heard the one about the, er... 216 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,500 the fan dancer and the performing flea? 217 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,200 Ah...no. Actually, here's a better one. 218 00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:20,300 Yes. There are these three deaf chaps on a train and it stops at Wembley. 219 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:24,600 - What's he doing? - Mr Fink-Nottle is telling an anecdote. 220 00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:28,300 Anyway, there it is at Wembley, and one chap says, ''ls this Wembley?'' 221 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,200 - The other says, ''No, it's Thursday.'' - What did he say? 222 00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:36,400 - He said, ''No, it's Thursday.'' - No, it's not. lt's Friday. 223 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,500 - l know. l changed my library book. - lt's a joke, Charlotte. 224 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:45,500 Thank you. The third one says, ''So am l. Let's go and have a drink.'' 225 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:50,500 - lt's a joke about drink, Charlotte. - No, it's not about drink. lt's about... 226 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,900 Why did the first man bring up the days of the week? 227 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,600 No, the first man is the one who says, ''ls this Wimbledon?'' 228 00:15:57,700 --> 00:16:00,000 - No... - That was the second man. 229 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:03,700 Let Mr Fink-Nottle finish his joke before we judge it. 230 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,700 - Well, that was it actually. - ls it about tennis, perhaps? 231 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,300 l don't care for jokes about tennis. 232 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,700 - Some jokes about tennis... - No, l just cannot... 233 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,200 (All talk at once) 234 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,900 - Good lord, Jeeves! - Good evening, sir. 235 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:46,700 - What on earth are you doing here? - l am performing my customary office 236 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,200 - in attending Mr Wooster. - But... 237 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,200 Gussie? 238 00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:55,900 - You're meant to be in court. - Allow me to help you, Mr Wooster. 239 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,900 What? Oh, yes. 240 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,100 - Wooster? - You must be Mr Wooster. 241 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:04,300 - (Both) Yes. - l beg your pardon? 242 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:08,000 No, no, not me. No, l'm...l'm Fink-Nottle, you know, 243 00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:10,500 the newt man. (Laughing) 244 00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:37,100 - Good morning, sir. - Never mind good morning. 245 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,500 - How did Gussie get out of stir? - The magistrate decided 246 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,600 to substitute a fine for the prison sentence, sir. 247 00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:47,800 l was unable to inform you as it happened when you were on your way. 248 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:52,000 So Gussie is freed from durance vile and you bring him to Deverill Hall? 249 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,100 - Yes, sir. - Why? 250 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,500 lt seemed the best course of action. 251 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,700 ln the event of either of you failing to arrive, 252 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:04,500 enquiries would have been instituted by either Mrs Gregson or Miss Bassett 253 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,300 with disastrous results. 254 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,800 To point out just one aspect, sir, 255 00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:12,500 Miss Bassett is expecting daily letters from Mr Fink-Nottle 256 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,000 describing in detail his life here. 257 00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:18,300 l hadn't thought of that. So, l'm Gussie and Gussie's me? 258 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,500 - Yes, sir. - Ceaseless vigilance will be required 259 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,500 if we're not to gum up the game. 260 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,700 - We shall be walking on eggshells. - A very trenchant metaphor, sir. 261 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,500 What ho, Gussie, or rather Bertie? 262 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:40,400 - This is a pretty state of things. - Better than being in clink though. 263 00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:43,500 ln prison, you don't have people calling you Mr Wooster. 264 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,700 How do you suppose l feel knowing everybody thinks you're me? 265 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,400 - Shouldn't you prefer it? - Prefer it? Are you mad? 266 00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,500 How do you think l feel? 267 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,700 Do you realise that the world of Deverill believes 268 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,100 Bertram Wooster is an oversized gargoyle 269 00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,300 who looks like Lester the Pester in an American comic strip? 270 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,500 ln case you are under any illusion, 271 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,700 those aunts pulled their skirts aside when l said l was Bertie Wooster 272 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,900 and, as if that wasn't bad enough, you seem to have made my name mud, 273 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,800 something about trains and Wimbledon and an unseemly anecdote. 274 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:19,100 What will happen if they tell Madeline l tell unseemly anecdotes? 275 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,700 - l advise stout denial, and in any case... - Mr Wooster... 276 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:26,500 - Mr Fink-Nottle. - Ah. What ho, Dame Daphne? 277 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,100 Gertrude is on the terrace, Mr Wooster. 278 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,300 Well? 279 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,600 l thought perhaps you might want to talk to her. 280 00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:41,300 - What about? - Excuse us a moment, would you? 281 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:45,300 Gussie, l'm meant to be wooing Gertrude Winkworth. 282 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,400 - Wooing? - Wooing, courting, pressing one's suit. 283 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,900 - Dallying with. - l'm not going to do that. 284 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,700 You have to, Gussie, because you're meant to be me. 285 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,600 Do your own dirty work. Suppose Madeline found out? 286 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:59,100 Madeline won't find out. She's in Wimbledon. 287 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:04,000 Yes, Bertie thinks he might totter out and have a word with Gertrude, don't you? 288 00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:07,200 - No! - l'm sure she'd be pleased to see you. 289 00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:10,000 Yes, almost as pleased as l shall be to see Madeline. 290 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:13,500 - Yes, l've got so much to tell her. - Well, you can... 291 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,300 Oh, very well. 292 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:22,300 What a charming fellow that Bertie Wooster is! 293 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,200 He could charm the skin off a rice pudding. 294 00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:29,800 - He seems very confused. - Confused? Bertie Wooster? Never. 295 00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:33,000 No. One of the keenest minds of his generation. 296 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,300 - Hello. - Hello, Mr Wooster. 297 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,700 l'm Bertie Wooster. 298 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,900 - Lovely morning, isn't it, Mr Wooster? - What is? 299 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000 The morning. The weather. 300 00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:48,500 Oh. 301 00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:52,200 Do you like newts? 302 00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:54,600 - Newts? - l've got... 303 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,800 Gussie Fink-Nottle's got lots of newts. 304 00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:00,400 l really envy him. 305 00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:04,600 lt must be really fulfilling to have that many newts. 306 00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:07,700 - Morning, Mr Purdey. - Morning, madam. 307 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,200 There you are, then. 308 00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:20,500 No letter from Augustus, Hilda. 309 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,700 l do wish he'd write. 310 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,100 l say, Bertie, what a charming girl! 311 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,600 - What? Who? - That Gertrude, Gertrude Winkworth. 312 00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:33,800 - ls she? - She wants me to sing tomorrow night. 313 00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:36,500 - Sing? - She heard from your Aunt Agatha 314 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,400 what an expert you are on modern dance music, 315 00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:44,100 and as she thought l was you, she said l could entertain everyone after dinner. 316 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,400 - Can you sing, Gussie? - Probably. 317 00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:50,300 - What do you mean, ''Probably''? - Well, l haven't tried yet, have l? 318 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,900 l thought you could teach me a couple of those songs. 319 00:21:56,100 --> 00:22:00,100 - Do you play the piano, Gussie? - Yes. l'm better at the oboe. 320 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,700 Really? No, l think the piano's a more usual sort of thing. 321 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,700 Now, this is a good one, yes. 322 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,700 Shall l play it, give you the idea, then you have a go. 323 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,900 - All right. - Right. One, two, three, four. 324 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,800 ( Chirpy marching tune) 325 00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:17,900 Some people make a fuss 326 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,900 When a thing goes wrong 327 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,900 Some stop and swear and cuss 328 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,700 Others sing a song 329 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,800 l don't do either 330 00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:27,700 That's all napoo 331 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,200 When a thing goes wrong with me, 332 00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:32,000 This is what l do 333 00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:35,700 l lift up my finger and l say, ''Tweet-tweet, 334 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,700 ''Shush-shush, now-now, come-come'' 335 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:44,300 l don't need to linger when l say, ''Tweet-tweet, shush-shush...'' 336 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,500 Stop! Are you mad?! 337 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,200 Do you think l'm going to stand in front of people 338 00:22:49,300 --> 00:22:51,900 and sing tweet-tweet, ha-ha, hee-hee? 339 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:56,300 - No, the second one's shush-shush. - What does it all mean? 340 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,700 lt's the absolute dernier cri, Gussie. 341 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,400 As cries go, this is as dernier as you can get. 342 00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:05,500 - lt's absolute gibberish! - Well, if you want intellectual content... 343 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,300 Ah, this is the one. Right, here we go. 344 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:18,400 How do you feel when you marry your ideal? 345 00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:22,900 Ever so goosie-goosie-goosie goo-sie 346 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:27,800 How do you feel when the bells begin to peal? 347 00:23:27,900 --> 00:23:32,000 Ever so goosie-goosie-goosie goo-sie 348 00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:36,900 Walking up the aisle in a kind of daze 349 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:41,700 Do you get the wind up when the organ plays? 350 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:46,500 How do you feel when the parson's done the deal? 351 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,500 Ever so goosie-goosie-goosie goo-sie 352 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,700 Oh, l like that. That's very good! Let me have a go. 353 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,500 - Gertrude will love this. - She'd have to have a heart of stone... 354 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,000 What do you mean, ''Gertrude will love this''? 355 00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:04,800 She's the one who wanted me to play. Madeline never wanted me to play. 356 00:24:04,900 --> 00:24:07,100 Madeline doesn't think you're me. 357 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:12,000 Don't you sometimes feel that Madeline's a bit, well, soppy, Bertie? 358 00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:14,200 Madeline? Soppy? 359 00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:18,700 All that business about bunny rabbits and the stars being God's daisy chain. 360 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,200 No, no-no-no-no. Madeline's beliefs are out of the ordinary, 361 00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:24,300 but sound, Gussie, extremely sound. 362 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,300 l think it would be a mistake to think of her as soppy. 363 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,200 Well, let's get on with this. 364 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,700 Ah, Jeeves, sorry to disturb you in your lair. 365 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,900 Not at all, sir. 366 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,200 l don't like the way things are going. 367 00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:40,800 Fink-Nottle appears to be besotted by this Gertrude female. 368 00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:44,700 - l feared that this might be the case, sir. - lt's only to be expected. 369 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:49,200 The impact of a girl like Gertrude in spring on a fathead like Gussie, 370 00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:52,700 weakened by swilling orange juice, must be terrific. 371 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,400 - What are we going to do, Jeeves? - l've taken the liberty, sir, 372 00:24:56,500 --> 00:25:00,300 of arranging a three-ball this afternoon between Miss Winkworth, 373 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:03,600 - Mr Fink-Nottle and yourself. - Golf? At a time like this? 374 00:25:03,700 --> 00:25:05,900 With Gussie? He's a terrible golfer. 375 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,700 Gertrude takes golf seriously. She plays off six. 376 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:13,100 - Such is my understanding, sir. - She'll see his abysmal putting 377 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:18,600 and his laughable game off the tee and cast him aside like a spilt beverage. 378 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,100 Jeeves, how could l ever doubt you? 379 00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:25,200 l could not say, sir. 380 00:25:35,900 --> 00:25:36,600 Psst! 381 00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:41,100 Psst! 382 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:48,400 Claude! Well, just where have you been, Mr Potter-Pirbright? 383 00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:51,400 Me? Well, after that row with your mother... 384 00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:54,900 That was three weeks ago! You haven't telephoned... 385 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,700 Anyway, l'm here now, and l've decided 386 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,700 l want you to elope with me. 387 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,600 Oh, do you just? Good of you to let me know. 388 00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:06,700 Well, you can just jolly well go back to London and... 389 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,300 - Catsmeat? - Shh! 390 00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:15,000 - l'm in disguise. - Pathetic, isn't it? 391 00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:17,600 That face fungus? lt wouldn't fool a parrot. 392 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,300 - l'm your man. - What do you mean, you're my man? 393 00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:25,200 Your valet. lt's the ideal way for me to come and see Gertrude incognito. 394 00:26:25,300 --> 00:26:27,200 My name's going to be Meadows. 395 00:26:27,300 --> 00:26:29,200 Are you mad? 396 00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:33,200 - Mr Fink-Nottle - Oh, my God. What ho, Dame Daphne? 397 00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:38,200 - Don't l recognise you? - l hope so. l was at dinner last night. 398 00:26:38,300 --> 00:26:40,600 - No, you. - No. No. 399 00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:43,900 - l'm his man. - Man? 400 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,000 A lackey, serf, valet. 401 00:26:46,100 --> 00:26:48,800 Your face seems very familiar. 402 00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:52,500 lt's that sort of face. You see them all over the shop. 403 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:57,200 Anyhow, you may go about your business. l want to speak to your master. 404 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,200 What's this l hear, Mr Fink-Nottle? 405 00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:04,300 - l beg your pardon? - l've had a telegram from Madeline. 406 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,600 - Oh, yes? - Madeline says 407 00:27:06,700 --> 00:27:11,700 she has not received a single letter from you since you arrived at the hall 408 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,200 and she is distressed at your abominable neglect. 409 00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:17,200 And l'm not surprised. 410 00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:22,500 Oh, right. Yes, well, l'll dash off a line as soon as we get back from the golf. 411 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,800 Please do, Mr Fink-Nottle. 412 00:27:24,900 --> 00:27:26,500 Right. 413 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,200 - Gentlemen. - Morning, sir. 414 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,900 What's this about you not writing to Madeline? 415 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,600 - Madeline? - She's sending telegrams about it. 416 00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:51,000 - For all our sakes, Gussie, write to her. - l am not at all pleased with Madeline. 417 00:27:51,100 --> 00:27:53,500 She made me come to this ghastly place 418 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:57,100 and l only consented on the understanding that she'd come too, 419 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,200 and then, at the last moment, 420 00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:02,700 she backed out on the flimsy plea that some friend needs her. 421 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,700 She must be made to realise she can't do that sort of thing, 422 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,800 so l'm not going to write to her. lt's a sort of a system. 423 00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:13,100 Gussie, will you or will you not compose an eight-page letter 424 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,300 breathing love in every syllable and post it to Madeline? 425 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,300 - Not. - Come on, Bertie. 426 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:20,900 Right-o. 427 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:56,300 Ahem. 428 00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:17,700 - Excellent shot! - Oh, well struck, sir. 429 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,600 - What club will you use, Gussie? - Same one. 430 00:29:21,700 --> 00:29:26,900 l press this button, click, it's a niblick, click-click, a mashie niblick, 431 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:31,900 click-click-click, a mid-mashie. Say goodbye to heavy golf bag misery. 432 00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,600 Not having much luck with that new club, Bertie. 433 00:30:00,700 --> 00:30:04,400 lt takes a bit of getting used to. You can't just pick it up and... 434 00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:08,900 Here, let me have a go. You can use my clubs for the rest of the round. 435 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,000 (Jeeves) Fine stroke, sir. 436 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,300 Splendid. 437 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,400 Bertie, you were wonderful. 438 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,000 - What are you doing here, Catsmeat? - Waiting for you. 439 00:30:49,100 --> 00:30:53,800 - What does Fink-Nottle think he's up to? - Gussie Fink-Nottle is a criminal lunatic. 440 00:30:53,900 --> 00:30:58,400 He seems to be infatuated with Gertrude. Sorry to use such long words, Bertie. 441 00:30:58,500 --> 00:31:02,000 l come all the way here to persuade Gertrude to elope with me 442 00:31:02,100 --> 00:31:05,300 and l can't get near her for that blasted Fink-Nottle. 443 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,800 Worse than that, he won't write to Madeline. 444 00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:10,500 You know the importance girls attach to letters. 445 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,600 - And he won't write? - Not a line. 446 00:31:12,700 --> 00:31:16,100 l pleaded with him and he put his ears back and refused to cooperate. 447 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,700 lf Madeline doesn't receive a letter swearing undying fealty, 448 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,600 she's liable to come here and beat one out of him. 449 00:31:22,700 --> 00:31:25,600 - Jeeves, l'm sunk. - Well, sir, 450 00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:29,400 if Mr Fink-Nottle will not write to Miss Bassett, perhaps you might. 451 00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:32,500 But, Jeeves, she wants to hear from Gussie. 452 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,800 lf it were indicated that Mr Fink-Nottle had sprained his wrist 453 00:31:36,900 --> 00:31:39,600 and had to dictate a letter to you, sir... 454 00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:41,600 l say! What a wheeze! 455 00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:44,100 - You were right about him. - Thank you, sir. 456 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:48,500 lf you said that Mr Fink-Nottle had given his wrist a nasty wrench 457 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,600 while stopping a runaway horse 458 00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:53,700 and saving a little child from a hideous death, 459 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:58,300 it might turn Mr Fink-Nottle's taciturnity to your advantage, sir. 460 00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:01,400 A golden-haired child is best in such circumstances. 461 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,200 What a man, Bertie! 462 00:32:06,100 --> 00:32:09,200 What a brain, and all this is due to fish, you say? 463 00:32:09,300 --> 00:32:13,400 Never mind Jeeves's diet, Catsmeat. Writing paper instanta. 464 00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:18,500 lf Madeline's withers are to be wrung, we must catch the five o'clock post. 465 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,500 ''Dear... 466 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,600 ''Dearest Madeline... 467 00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:24,600 ''My dearest... My dearest.'' 468 00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:39,200 (Dame Daphne) And now for a real treat. 469 00:32:39,300 --> 00:32:43,600 Mr Wooster has kindly consented to entertain us all 470 00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:45,700 with some songs at the piano. 471 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,300 (Tentative intro) 472 00:33:11,900 --> 00:33:13,800 (Lisping) Maud and Fred were courting 473 00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:16,100 The wedding day drew near 474 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,200 Said Fred to Maud one evening, 475 00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:21,200 l wish you'd tell me, dear, 476 00:33:21,300 --> 00:33:25,900 How do you feel when you marry your ideal? 477 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,400 Ever so goothie-goothie-goothie goo-thie 478 00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:34,900 How do you feel when the bells begin to peal 479 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:39,100 Ever so goothie-goothie-goothie goo-thie 480 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,100 Walking up the aisle... 481 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:45,900 lf this doesn't bring Gertrude to her senses, nothing will. Goodbye. 482 00:33:48,500 --> 00:33:52,600 How do you feel when you marry your ideal...? 483 00:33:52,700 --> 00:33:54,600 l say, this is dashed decent of you, 484 00:33:54,700 --> 00:33:57,900 doing your normal stint and pandering to Gussie's every whim. 485 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,000 Mr Fink-Nottle's whims are few and far between, sir. 486 00:34:01,100 --> 00:34:03,000 Are we surprised, Jeeves? 487 00:34:03,100 --> 00:34:07,000 Shut away in Lincolnshire, surrounded by newts and orange juice, 488 00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:10,700 surely even the strongest whim would wither on the vine. 489 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:14,800 A lesson to us all, sir. Was the musical entertainment a success, sir? 490 00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:17,300 From our point of view, Jeeves, a blinder. 491 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:21,600 Gussie will shortly be banished to his room a broken and rejected man. 492 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:28,800 Do you get the wind up when the organ plays 493 00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:33,100 How do you feel when the parson's done the deal? 494 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:37,700 Ever so goothie-goothie-goothie goo-thie 495 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:46,400 lsn't he marvellous? He's just like Jack Buchanan. 496 00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:50,700 He is like Jack Buchanan. 497 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,200 Yes... 498 00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:57,800 l love Jack Buchanan. 499 00:34:57,900 --> 00:35:01,600 Gertrude says he's like Jack Buchanan, Charlotte. 500 00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:03,800 Oh, is he? 501 00:35:11,100 --> 00:35:13,400 (Laughter and applause) 502 00:35:23,700 --> 00:35:25,700 Telegram for Mr Fink-Nottle. 503 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,700 Thank you, Tom. 504 00:35:31,100 --> 00:35:33,700 Telegram for Mr Fink-Nottle, Meadows. 505 00:35:46,900 --> 00:35:52,600 His singing was bad enough before, but with the added magic of stage fright... 506 00:35:52,700 --> 00:35:56,600 - lt's an absolute calamity, Bertie. - l know. l heard it. 507 00:35:56,700 --> 00:36:00,400 - No, you don't understand. They love it! - What? 508 00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:04,600 You hear of people being lionised. l wondered what it was like. Now l know. 509 00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:08,000 Gussie? But he was making the most frightful row. 510 00:36:08,100 --> 00:36:13,200 The whole grisly crew think it was wonderful and Gertrude's all over him. 511 00:36:13,300 --> 00:36:15,700 Well, that's it, Jeeves. We're finished. 512 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,200 - She loves his golf and his singing. - He's got a telegram too. 513 00:36:19,300 --> 00:36:22,400 Who'd be sending telegrams to Gussie? 514 00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:24,400 - Go on. - Go on what? 515 00:36:24,500 --> 00:36:27,600 - Open it. - l can't. lt's addressed to Gussie. 516 00:36:27,700 --> 00:36:30,600 Well, it's probably for you. 517 00:36:30,700 --> 00:36:33,000 - Go on. - No, Catsmeat. 518 00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:37,100 - The code of the Woosters restrains me. - Well, it wouldn't restrain me. 519 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,900 The code of the Woosters is more rigid than the code of the Catsmeats. 520 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,300 A Wooster cannot open another's telegram. 521 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,500 Pardon me for intervening, sir, 522 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:49,200 but perhaps it would alleviate the ethical pressure 523 00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:52,800 if l were to open the communication and read it out. 524 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,200 Sterling notion, Jeeves. 525 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,600 lt's from Miss Bassett, sir. 526 00:37:02,700 --> 00:37:07,900 ''Letter received. Cannot understand why not had reassuring telegram. 527 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:13,700 ''Sure you concealing accident terribly serious, fever, anxiety. Fear worst. 528 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:18,200 ''Unless hear from you soon, will arrive by earliest train. 529 00:37:18,300 --> 00:37:20,600 ''Love. Kisses. Madeline.'' 530 00:37:20,700 --> 00:37:22,500 Well, that's... 531 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,700 - Gussie, l've got to talk to you. - Sorry, Bertie, l haven't got time. 532 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:33,200 There's a lovely full moon. Gertrude and l are going for a walk. 533 00:37:33,300 --> 00:37:37,600 l'm going to get a muffler. Oh, remember pestering me to write to Madeline? 534 00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:40,800 - Well, l wrote to her this afternoon. - (Whimpering) 535 00:37:40,900 --> 00:37:44,900 - Why are you looking like a dying duck? - Because l wrote to her for you. 536 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,600 - What do you mean, for me? - l said you were indisposed. 537 00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:51,200 - Something about a horse. - A horse? 538 00:37:51,300 --> 00:37:54,300 You do the most extraordinary things, Bertie. 539 00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,700 Anyway, it really doesn't matter, 540 00:37:56,800 --> 00:38:00,500 because what l said in my letter was everything was off. 541 00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,000 - Off? - l've broken the engagement. 542 00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:05,400 l've been feeling for some days now 543 00:38:05,500 --> 00:38:09,400 that Madeline, although a nice enough girl, just won't do. 544 00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:11,800 My heart belongs to Gertrude. 545 00:38:12,500 --> 00:38:14,400 Bye, Bertie. 546 00:38:23,700 --> 00:38:28,400 Housebreaking during the hours of daylight is a serious offence, sir. 547 00:38:28,500 --> 00:38:31,300 l have to get that letter before Madeline reads it. 548 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,100 You don't have to be involved. Just start the car. 549 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,200 Very good, sir. 550 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,400 - Right, then, bye. - Bye, Sam. 551 00:39:27,500 --> 00:39:29,400 Come on, Pansy. 552 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:38,200 Madeline, breakfast. We can do the flowers later. 553 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:55,000 (Hilda) Leave the sitting room for now, Jane. l'm just going in. 554 00:40:17,100 --> 00:40:18,700 Oh... 555 00:40:22,900 --> 00:40:26,200 - Good morning, Madeline. - Good morning, Hilda. 556 00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:28,900 There's no letter from Augustus again. 557 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:34,100 l'm so worried, Hilda. l think l shall go down to Deverill by an earlier train. 558 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:38,600 lf there isn't a letter, all it means is that that other fellow, Wooster, 559 00:40:38,700 --> 00:40:41,900 is fed up with having Gussie dictate letters to him. 560 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,900 - He's dippy about you, isn't he? - He loves me very very dearly. 561 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,900 lt's a tragedy. 562 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000 l can't describe to you, Hilda, 563 00:40:50,100 --> 00:40:53,500 the look of dumb suffering in his eyes when we meet. 564 00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,200 - My photograph! - What? 565 00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,400 lt's not on the table. lt's gone! 566 00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:04,000 l expect Jane smashed it. She smashes everything that isn't made of iron. 567 00:41:04,100 --> 00:41:06,600 l'll go and ask her. 568 00:41:14,300 --> 00:41:18,000 - (Snarling) - Oh, quiet, Pansy. 569 00:41:19,500 --> 00:41:21,600 What's the matter, you silly ass? 570 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,400 - Pansy - (Growling) 571 00:41:32,100 --> 00:41:34,100 Jane says she... Hilda! 572 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,800 Oh, Hilda, what are you doing with that gun?! 573 00:41:37,900 --> 00:41:41,200 - There's a damned man behind the sofa. - No! 574 00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:46,000 All right, you, come out with your hands up. 575 00:41:46,100 --> 00:41:48,900 - No, you don't! - Ah! 576 00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:55,000 - Stop, thief! - (Screaming) 577 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,000 - (Gunshot) - Sir, over here. 578 00:42:07,100 --> 00:42:09,500 Oi! You stop where you are, my lad! 579 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:12,400 Come back here! 580 00:42:13,700 --> 00:42:15,600 We don't want no trouble. 581 00:42:18,900 --> 00:42:20,800 lt's Bertie! 582 00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:26,200 Come back here! 583 00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:35,200 - Oh, Bertie! - l'll get you yet! You won't get far! 584 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,000 Morning, Constable. (Clears throat) 585 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:56,900 (Chuckling) Yes... 586 00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:02,100 Mr Wooster, this is a most horrible crime of which you stand accused. 587 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,000 ln all my years on the bench, 588 00:43:04,300 --> 00:43:08,400 l've never been called upon to preside over such a case as this. 589 00:43:08,500 --> 00:43:13,200 That such a crime could be perpetrated in Wimbledon in broad daylight, 590 00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:16,900 will bring a shudder to every right-thinking person. 591 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:21,300 Have you anything to say in your defence before l pass sentence? 592 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,400 - Well... - He did it for love, Your Honour. 593 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,300 For what? 594 00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:32,400 Love. l am not ashamed to say it. 595 00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:36,000 And who, my dear, are you? 596 00:43:36,100 --> 00:43:39,300 My name is Madeline Bassett. 597 00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:43,600 l am the unworthy object of this gentleman's adoration. 598 00:43:45,100 --> 00:43:48,100 He's a very lucky young man, Miss Bassett. 599 00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:51,700 Not so, Your Honour. l am betrothed to another, 600 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:57,200 but Bertie has gone on worshipping me, outwardly gay and cheerful, 601 00:43:57,300 --> 00:44:00,800 inwardly gnawed by a ceaseless pain. 602 00:44:00,900 --> 00:44:03,600 - (Sniffing) - Go on. 603 00:44:03,700 --> 00:44:06,400 l ought to have given him my photograph long ago, 604 00:44:06,500 --> 00:44:10,100 but l thought it would be too painful for him, Your Honour, 605 00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:12,800 a sad reminder of all that he had lost. 606 00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:15,400 - No, no... - Be quiet! 607 00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:21,200 l see now that l was wrong, Bertie. You found the strain too great to bear. 608 00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:24,900 - (Sobbing) - You had to have it, whatever the cost, 609 00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,200 so you stole into the house and took it. 610 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:33,000 You're a very fortunate young man, Mr Wooster, 611 00:44:33,100 --> 00:44:36,000 to have this girlie speak up for you. 612 00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:38,200 The case is dismissed. 613 00:44:38,300 --> 00:44:40,900 (All) Oh... 614 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:44,900 - Now, look here, Madeline... - You must be brave, Bertie. 615 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,900 l have to go to Augustus now. He needs me too. 616 00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:53,600 Someday, another girl will come into your life and you will be happy. 617 00:44:53,700 --> 00:44:58,700 When we are both old and grey, we shall laugh together over all this. 618 00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:04,800 (Simpering) Laugh, but l think with a tear behind the smile. 619 00:45:07,100 --> 00:45:09,400 How sad life is. 620 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,900 You betcha. 621 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,600 Fetch the car, Jeeves. She's going to Deverill Hall. 622 00:45:17,700 --> 00:45:21,200 - We've got to get there before her. - Very good, sir. 623 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,700 - Why, Mrs Gregson! - Oh, Madeline! 624 00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:38,300 - You're not going to Deverill, are you? - l most certainly am, child. 625 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:42,800 - You'll pardon me saying so, sir... - What is it, Jeeves? 626 00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:45,500 The needle on the speedometer indicates 627 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:49,800 that we are travelling at 85 miles to the hour, sir. 628 00:45:49,900 --> 00:45:52,000 Good lord! ls that all? 629 00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:57,300 (Whistling) 630 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,700 l'd like to alert you to the smell of burning, sir. 631 00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:09,000 - Burning, Jeeves? - l'm sure it's of no consequence. 632 00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:13,300 That's not burning. That's the smell of hot oil and pounding pistons. 633 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,600 The ideal running temperature of an engine... 634 00:46:16,700 --> 00:46:19,800 (Rattling and clattering) 635 00:46:19,900 --> 00:46:21,800 (Brakes squealing) 636 00:46:21,900 --> 00:46:24,500 (Coughing) 637 00:46:32,500 --> 00:46:34,600 l'm so glad you could come, Agatha. 638 00:46:34,700 --> 00:46:37,600 Just in time to announce the engagement, l think. 639 00:46:37,700 --> 00:46:40,100 - Oh, Mummy. - Bertie? He is engaged? 640 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,100 Such a delightful boy. 641 00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,200 To Gertrude? 642 00:46:44,300 --> 00:46:47,400 - A very parfait genteel knight. - Abstemious. 643 00:46:47,500 --> 00:46:50,200 There must be some mistake. 644 00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:08,400 - Talented. - Oh, no, no. 645 00:47:08,500 --> 00:47:11,200 - lntelligent. - Surely not! 646 00:47:11,300 --> 00:47:14,100 Ah, Gertrude, l hoped l'd find you... (Gasping) 647 00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,400 Gussie, you're all right! 648 00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,500 - Madeline! - Pardon me, Madeline. 649 00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:24,800 Would you not touch Bertie in that way? He doesn't like it. 650 00:47:24,900 --> 00:47:29,200 - Bertie? What do you mean, Bertie? - lt's all Bertie Wooster's fault. 651 00:47:29,300 --> 00:47:32,300 What is happening? ls this man not Bertie Wooster? 652 00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,600 Of course he's not Bertie Wooster! 653 00:47:35,700 --> 00:47:40,100 - Gussie, what have you been doing? - He said he was going to marry me. 654 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:43,400 - (Screaming) - Madeline, l can explain! 655 00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:48,700 Oh, what a journey we had. We completely... 656 00:47:50,900 --> 00:47:53,000 Claude! Claude! 657 00:47:53,900 --> 00:47:56,300 (Distant chatter) 658 00:47:58,700 --> 00:48:01,700 - Girl, will you stop crying? - There, there... 659 00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:04,000 lf he's Fink-Nottle, who's the other one? 660 00:48:04,100 --> 00:48:07,800 - Ah, what ho, Deverills all? - (All gasp) 661 00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:09,800 Claude! Claude! 662 00:48:09,900 --> 00:48:11,800 l've been such a fool! 663 00:48:11,900 --> 00:48:13,900 Of course l'll marry you. 664 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:17,600 - Let's leave right away. - Oh. Right. 665 00:48:17,700 --> 00:48:19,700 Pardon me, Mr Potter-Pirbright, 666 00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,500 but l wonder if l might borrow your moustache? 667 00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:26,800 Sorry l missed lunch but l had to pop up to Wimbledon to see Madeline. 668 00:48:26,900 --> 00:48:30,800 She's well, very Madelinish, if you know what l mean. 669 00:48:30,900 --> 00:48:33,200 Bertie! 670 00:48:33,300 --> 00:48:37,400 Ah. (Chuckling nervously) Aunt Agatha, this is a surprise. 671 00:48:37,500 --> 00:48:40,600 l want an explanation, Bertie. 672 00:48:40,700 --> 00:48:43,900 - An... - And l want it now. 673 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,900 - He said he was Mr Fink-Nottle. - (All talk at once) 674 00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,900 - The thing is, Aunt Agatha... - All right. Scotland Yard. 675 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:57,600 - l'm looking for one Bertram Wooster. - Scotland Yard? 676 00:48:57,700 --> 00:49:02,600 - That's me. - l am arresting you, Bertram Wooster, 677 00:49:02,700 --> 00:49:06,300 on charges relating to the possession of an illegal golf club. 678 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:09,900 - Will you come quietly? - (Whispering) That is brilliant! 679 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,600 Now, then, less of that. Let's have no funny business. 680 00:49:17,300 --> 00:49:19,700 l can't endure it! 681 00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:22,500 Oh, the shame of it! 682 00:49:25,100 --> 00:49:28,800 - What a wheeze, Jeeves. - l'm glad to have been of service, sir. 683 00:49:28,900 --> 00:49:31,800 You know, Jeeves, if someone were to come to me 684 00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:35,900 and ask if l'd join a society whose aim was the suppression of aunts 685 00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:39,000 or who will see to it that they're kept on a short chain 686 00:49:39,100 --> 00:49:41,900 and not permitted to scatter desolation on all sides, 687 00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:45,200 l'd reply, ''Wilberhulme...'' if his name was Wilberhulme, 688 00:49:45,300 --> 00:49:47,900 ''Wilberhulme, put me down as a foundation member. 689 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:52,400 l'm sure such a society would not be lacking for subscribers, sir. 690 00:49:52,450 --> 00:49:57,000 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0